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New death doula program at Douglas College in Coquitlam

37-hour college certificate course is being taught at the Coquitlam campus, starting next month
death
Edith Kirkpatrick, co-ordinator of Continuing Professional Education in the health sciences department at Douglas College, created the End of Life Doula certificate program with instructor Jennifer Mallmes. The next course starts Nov. 18 at the David Lam campus in Coquitlam; the registration deadline is Nov. 15.

Death doula.

Grief counsellor.

End-of-life midwife.

Transitions coach.

There are many names for what Jennifer Mallmes does but, given the aging population, not enough people doing the same work.

Last year, the registered care aid was recruited by Douglas College to help train people on how to guide their friends or family — or even total strangers — through their final years, months or days.

Mallmes, along with Edith Kirkpatrick, co-ordinator of Douglas' Continuing Professional Education program for health sciences, devised a certificate course that would see students "empower, encourage and advocate" for a sick client.

In April, the college credential course was piloted at the David Lam campus in Coquitlam and, next month, it will have its first official intake for up to 25 students. 

The course, happening over four Saturdays, has so far run three times in Coquitlam and once in Prince George; it will also run in Regina, Sask., in November. 

And both Mallmes and Kirkpatrick say they are thrilled with the results. Some graduates, they say, have gone on to work with dementia patients while another is now at an LGBTQ hospice and assisting with AIDS clients; others have used their lessons to help women cope after their babies were stillborn.

Mallmes said she hopes her End of Life Doula program will generate enough graduates to build a community of practitioners in the Lower Mainland.

"There needs to be more of us out there, working in the field, so that we can call on each other when somebody is dying and we aren't available," she told The Tri-City News.

According to Statistics Canada, it's estimated there will be 12 million seniors (defined as over 65) in Canada in 2061. Studies show most Canadians want to live out their last moments at home, surrounded by friends and family.

Mallmes said her 37-hour course offers tips on how future death doulas can navigate sensitive topics with clients, their family and friends.

In her practice, Mallmes said she starts by asking the client a simple question: "What brings you joy?" From there, they build a path that allows the client to get his or her affairs in order and to die on their own terms. 

"Not how they die but ensuring they don't have any more items on their bucket list," Mallmes said. "I'm there to listen and to provide a safe space for them to reflect on their life and to have all the boxes checked before they die."

Often, a tricky part for death doulas is managing family dynamics while a client is dying. Emotions are high and many people don't know how to react.

"Nobody wants to talk about end of life," Mallmes said, "because nobody likes the word 'death.' But I can guarantee you that 100% of us are going to die. There's no getting around it, so you and your family have to be prepared."

"Families get weird," Kirkpatrick added, "but having somebody there — who's not part of the family — can be a good thing because they're impartial and not judgemental. They don't know the history. They're simply there to act as a guide during the difficult conversations."

Besides communication skills, the death doula curriculum also touches on such topics as assisting clients in creating and carrying out treatment decisions and sharing knowledge about legalities (i.e., powers of attorney and wills).

Kirkpatrick said while there is no ideal candidate for the program — students can have any background to be a death doula — she admitted the profession is difficult. 

"It takes a very special person who has a genuine caring nature to see a person through to their end of life… The person is there to act as a support and not to give advice. They have to be flexible and leave their personal baggage at the door."

Mallmes, who guided her own father as he died, maintains the work is not depressing.

"I love it because I love seeing people live their life to their absolute potential. It's doable for them to have a good experience and to close their last days with joy and peace."

• To register for the End of Life Doula certificate program in Coquitlam, visit douglascollege.ca.

jcleugh@tricitynews.com