The life and recent death of Rolly Fox is a reminder of how ordinary the Fox family was yet how extraordinary, too.
Today, Terry Fox’s heroic attempt to run across Canada with a prosthesis on one leg is commemorated in books, films, monuments and the annual Terry Fox Run that raises millions for cancer research.
We marvel at Terry’s courage, his optimism and his idea of running from sea to sea at a time when these kinds of fundraisers weren’t even considered, let alone as commonplace as they have become.
But maybe it’s also important to consider his family, an average Port Coquitlam clan like many others, with four kids, a small house and regular jobs.
Imagine what Fox’s parents, Rolly and Betty, must have gone through — first with Terry’s cancer diagnosis, then his amazing run and, finally, the too-early death of their second-eldest son.
How many parents would have let their young man go on this run?
Probably very few. Today’s parents are criticized for not letting their children take risks so the kids won’t feel disappointment and failure. Often, this tendency for helicopter parenting lasts well into adulthood.
Terry Fox’s parents were not those kind of parents.
Now that Betty and Rolly Fox have both passed away — Betty in 2011, Rolly just last week after a brief fight with lung cancer — it’s important to consider their legacy. Just as Terry set an example for perseverance and determination and having big goals, Betty and Rolly taught other parents that it’s OK to let their children take risks.
They were also remarkable in another way as well: for setting an example to grieving parents. Unfortunately, as the parents of a young man who died of cancer, they are members of a large group of cancer survivors, outliving their own children.
Instead of letting their grief set them part, they reached out and even though their resumés were modest — they weren’t sophisticated people or social climbers — still they adopted Terry’s dream and ran with it, becoming beloved and involved ambassadors for the highly successful Terry Fox Foundation.
We remember Terry, yes, but we should also remember his parents. Rolly and Betty Fox showed us how we can be better every day and against all odds.
