It's been more than two years - and the birth of a baby - since I've been to the gym and let's just say the results of such inactivity are, well, not good.
So it was without hesitation that I jumped at the chance to work with a personal trainer at the Port Moody recreation complex over the next six months in an effort to banish the post-baby body woes. It doesn't hurt that the rec centre, built in 2008, offers a lovely gym with plenty of natural light and views to Inlet Park, loads of classes to choose from and - my favourite - a huge hot tub.
Here's how the first few weeks have gone:
WEEK 1
It's 7:45 a.m. on Tuesday, June 5 and since I'm still at home, that means I'm running late. Again.
I am furiously rummaging through drawers searching for gym-appropriate clothing when I realize it's probably not a good sign that I can't even remember where, or when, I last saw them.
Today is my first appointment with the PoMo rec centre trainer who will abe guiding (pummelling?) me gently (like a drill sergeant?) on the road back to something resembling fitness.
It's a state I haven't seen since I was a university under-grad. I won't say how long ago that was, other than it was back when email seemed like a fad that would soon pass.
Since then, exercise and I have had an on-again, off-again relationship. Mostly off.
And that's a problem when your relationship with food - the cheesier and more chocolatey the better - is pretty much always on.
When I do exercise, it's mainly because I've noticed the waistline of my pants is getting... strained. It would probably help if, while I was exercising, I wasn't also planning what I would be able to eat later because, hey, look at all the calories I was burning!
Since my under-grad heyday, I have managed to complete the BMO Vancouver half marathon in 2009 with a decent time, and was aiming to do a full marathon the following year. Then along came a baby and, wow, does that ever do strange things to your body.
So here I am on a June afternoon, face-to-face with the petite, yet formidable Kari Werner, the trainer who promises she will encourage (not pound) me back into pre-baby shape.
The hour-long session went smoothly and I left with a self-satisfied grin knowing it hadn't been nearly as hellacious as I'd predicted.
Ahem. For the next three days, on muscles screaming out in abject horror, I wobbled around the office like some kind of herky-jerky Frankenstein, much to the amusement of my co-workers.
Lesson learned, Kari, lesson learned.
WEEK 3
Deeply humbled, I meet with Kari for our second session and admit to being in vastly worse shape than I'd thought.
Not to worry, she assures me, the first week is always the toughest and it can only get better from here. She proceeds to quickly shift the workout I'm about to do after I reveal that I have not, in fact, done the required two to three gym sessions on my own.
It's a mistake I silently vow not to repeat.
By the third session, I'm on to Kari's tricks. I've been to the gym, done the workouts. Heck, I've even been out for an early morning run, so I figure there can't be too much punishment in store for me.
The next hour reminds me that: 1) I'm pretty klutzy (hello, side-to-side jumping and medicine ball twists) and 2) having a baby does strange things to one's abdominal muscles.
I'm pretty sure mine have disappeared, never to be seen or called upon again for all of the bizarre permutations of the standard sit-up that a personal trainer can concoct.
Nevertheless, I am already sensing improvement, and am able to challenge myself by doing extra sets and increasing the weights in some exercises.
Take that, Kari.
Later in the week I hear a couple of co-workers will be attending the 4 p.m. spin class and I decide to tag along. Here's how it went:
4:10 p.m. - Questioning what possessed me to attend the 4 p.m. spin class, wondering if anyone will notice me sneak out.
4:20 p.m. - Burning. All I feel is burning.
4:25 p.m. - Notice our indomitable advertising representative Marianne LaRochelle, who is spinning beside me, has some seriously fast legs.
4:30 p.m. - Notice that everyone else in the class is sweating profusely and that I am not. I am under no illusions this means I might be the fittest one here.
4:35 p.m. - Notice fellow reporter Janis Warren, on the bike in front of me, is talking into her digital recorder, doing mid-spin journalism, and realize this means she's actually capable of coherent thought right now.
4:45 p.m. - The instructor raises his arms to stretch. Hallelujah, the end is nigh.
THE LESSONS
What have I learned in the past few weeks? My biggest enemy is scheduling. Between work, a daily commute between Vancouver and Port Coquitlam and juggling everything that goes along with a nearly two-year-old toddler, life is busy.
But getting to the gym can be done, as long as I make it a priority.
Kari's advice for anyone planning to get back into shape after a long fitness hiatus is to not overhaul everything at once. Start slow and make incremental changes to your exercise and eating habits, otherwise you're setting yourself up for failure, she says.
"People try to do too much all at one time and they often get frustrated when they don't see the results they want in a very short period of time and they give up," Werner explained.
Creating a plan that works best for you as an individual is what will work best, she adds.
Not sure where to start? Werner advises you see a trainer who can keep your workouts varied and offer direction, proper instruction on specific exercises and, most of all, motivation.
"Especially for women, resistance or weight training is really important," Werner said. Too often, women focus solely on cardio exercises, thinking it will help them get to their goal more quickly.
"But they overlook the necessity of weight training, especially as we age. It's really important for bone density and activating those muscle fibres."
And if your biggest goal is to lose weight, here's the hard truth: "Seventy-five per cent of where your results are going to come from is what's on your fork," Werner said.
"Being active is very important but... you are what you eat. That's a big piece that people don't want to talk about or acknowledge, that they may have to sacrifice things and they don't really want to hear that."
The biggest obstacle to eating right, Werner says, is planning. When we don't do the work to make sure we have nutritious food to fuel our bodies through the day, we scramble for something convenient - and it's rarely a healthy choice.
So sit down on the weekend, plan your meals for the week, do the grocery shopping and prepare things ahead of time - whether it's chopped veggies, oatmeal for breakfast or portioned-out meals in the freezer, ready to pop into your bag as you head out the door.
"It does take planning and work but the payoff is huge," Werner said.
And it doesn't mean banishing all treats, full stop, but it does mean enjoying cake when there's cause to celebrate and maybe holding back when you're reaching for the bag of chips out of boredom.
"And whatever you're going to do, make it fun," she said. "It might not necessarily be fun at first, but it can be fun."
I'll be sure to remember that during the 4 p.m. spin class this afternoon, Kari.
spayne@tricitynews.com
