When JJ Lee’s father died in 2001 at the age of 52, he inherited his suit.
He always knew it to be a cheap outfit but it wasn’t until he tried to alter it for himself — five times — that he realized just how low-end it was.
“A 50-cent polyester nothing” is how Lee describes it today.
With the dissection of the suit, as an apprentice tailor, came the unravelling of the threads of Lee’s life.
In it, he unwound his tumultuous relationship with his alcoholic father while growing up in his native Montreal and exposed a deep pain.
His memoir, The Measure of a Man: The Story of a Father, a Son and a Suit, took him a decade to tell.
And next week, as part of the Salon Speaker Series at Coquitlam’s Place des Arts, Lee will uncover how he came to tell the tale as well as offer ideas on how budding scribes can also reveal their truths.
Lee said penning a memoir isn’t as simple as it seems: It’s not just about writing down the story of your life. Rather, “it’s the act of writing to learn about yourself. You have to force yourself to have those unexpected turns of thought that can only happen at the keyboard.”
A New Westminster resident, Lee said the journey to self-discovery and learning about your family starts by looking back on past experiences.
For example, an event that you remember as a child will be remembered through the eyes of a child.
However, as a adult and by using reflective thinking, we can see or even imagine the bigger picture: What were the circumstances leading up to the event? Were there financial constraints? Or other pressures or hardships?
Those kinds of questions bring more context to the situation. “There’s more forgiveness when we have a greater perspective,” Lee said, “and writing it down gives us a sense of revelation.”
Lee said he had a kind of public breakdown after he finished his memoir.
While at a book reading as a finalist for the 2012 Charles Taylor Prize for Non-Fiction, in Toronto, Lee was wearing his father’s suit and started to weep. “I couldn’t get through the event,” he said. “I was so distraught. I never wore it again.”
Still, Lee said he has been so moved by the act of memoir writing that’s he now transcribing a companion work to Measure of a Man.
No publication date has been announced.
• Tickets to hear JJ Lee on Friday, Jan. 22 at Place des Arts (1120 Brunette Ave., Coquitlam) are $5 by calling 604-664-1636 or visiting brownpapertickets.com.
