Syrian refugee families are looking forward to a hopeful future but their hearts are with friends and relatives fleeing the war in Syria as media reports show the humanitarian crisis taking place in Aleppo.
Their cellphones at the ready, family members show photos of destruction alongside images of Aleppo's ancient city streets and once-elegant avenues dotted with palm trees.
Betul Nebhen, a mother of two young children now living in Coquitlam, has been in regular contact with an uncle and cousins in the war-torn city, says she is devastated by the violence and worried about her family's safety.
"What I can do, I pray for them. They are not safe, some areas, yes, [but other areas] they are still not safe. The government yesterday, they don't take them out to safe area, maybe today they take some people but not all people." says Nebhen, who was an accountant before fleeing Aleppo for Turkey two years ago.
In videos she is being sent by family and friends, Nebhen sees horrible scenes of death and destruction, while here in Coquitlam, she has friends, including Coquitlam Mayor Richard Stewart and Coun. Teri Towner; her two children are happy in school at Roy Stibbs elementary; and she is making progress in her English classes with SUCCESS.
"Now, I have been 10 months in Canada and I want to tell thank you for all the people here, such nice people, kind people and lovely."
MISSING FAMILY
But despite the warmth she feels for her new home, Nebhen, who was widowed when her husband died in an accident eight years ago, still feels a strong connection to her country of birth.
Nearby in the same Cottonwood housing complex lives the Saeed family — father Vahed, mother Reza, daughter Asha, and sons Abdulrahman and Eyhem. They, too, feel a mix of happiness at their safe life hear and loss at the scenes of destruction in their former homeland.
Abdulrahman, who speaks English well, says Canada is their home and the family feels a sense of peace, albeit tinged with sadness.
"I feel Canada is my country, I don't feel I'm a foreign person. When people welcome you, it is an emotional feeling, you find what you lost and it's incredible," he says, flipping through his phone to show photos and videos taken in Coquitlam and Vancouver of gatherings of recently-arrived government-sponsored Syrians and local residents enjoying cultural events, such as Arabic dancing.
For the 24-year-old, it is a second time starting over, since leaving Aleppo in 2012 to finish his schooling in Turkey at the urging of his parents, who feared the worst when violence erupted between pro- and anti-government forces.
"I want to work and go to university and get a car and a good life," says Abdulrahman, who studied mechanical engineering in Turkey.
But he acknowledges that for his parents, Reza and Vahed, their joy is tempered with sadness for what they have lost and the fact that another son, Yaman, 22, who suffers from kidney disease, is still in Germany, and they don't have the resources to bring him to Canada.
"I am happy," says father Vahed, "but he," pointing to his son Abdulrahman, the family's spokesman, is "very happy."
A successful architect in Aleppo before the war, Vahed says he still misses "my friends in Aleppo, my home, my office, my car." And while his family is safe from harm, including his youngest son, Eyhem, at Banting middle school, and his daughter, Reza, who needs dialysis for kidney disease, he and his wife are haunted by worry and old memories.
In their warm apartment on Cottonwood Avenue, they generously serve up traditional dishes with fragrantly-spiced rice, chicken and collards, vegetables and homemade yoghurt, but it's as if these newcomers, among the first wave of arrivals from Canada's Syrian refugee resettlement program, are living two lives, one here in Coquitlam and another in war-torn Syria.
LOOKING AHEAD
Mohammad Neameh, his wife Maha and children, Adam, 4, and Hala, 2, are living in Port Coquitlam and have adjusted to their new life since they were sponsored by the Canadian government to come to Canada. Originally from Damascus, the family members are learning English and Neameh is working for Phoenix Truck and Crane in Coquitlam.
They, too, feel blessed to have an apartment and while learning English is an ongoing struggle, the Neamehs are looking ahead with confidence.
Bill Dick, Neameh's employer, is continuing to pay the young father his salary even though he's at Montgomery Centre for most of his workday learning English, and for that Neameh is grateful.
"He is like an angel," Neameh said of Dick, who hired him after seeing him on TV after an apartment fire left the family briefly homeless.
In the intervening weeks and months, Neameh has obtained his driver's licence and his forklift certificate. He has occasionally visited the Port Coquitlam mosque and says if he improves his English, he could be trained to operate a crane.
"It's hard to know everything after one year," said Neameh, who credits his employer with helping him learn about the Canadian tax system and insurance, among other things.
And while Maha appears to be settling in with her young children, who have visited Strong Start in Port Coquitlam, the young mother misses her sister-in law, a widow and a refugee living in Lebanon because her husband — Maha's brother — was killed in the Syrian war.
"Sometimes, she cries at night," Neameh said of his wife.
Maha is getting help with her English from a volunteer who comes to the house once a week but it's not quite enough to get fluent, and the young mother suffers knowing there is little she can do to help her loved ones besides staying in touch over the internet.
"You live in paradise but it's not paradise," says her husband Neameh, who feels a strong burden of responsibility not only to keep his family fed and sheltered, but for family members oversees. He's also concerned about other Syrian refugees in Coquitlam who are not doing quite as well as he is and will have to go on welfare when their federal assistance runs out in a few weeks because they don't have jobs and their English isn't as good.
Outside on their patio, blue twinkling lights and a white plastic wreath signal the beginning of the holiday season, and indoors, where the children happily play on their parents' phone and watch a video of themselves trampolining, it's cozy and warm.
A world away, however, in the country they left because of the war, the situation is not so cozy, and it leaves the newcomers anxious, with one foot here and the other in a broken land.
