A Coquitlam mother suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety (PPD) is hoping to reach other moms who are also struggling and offer a helping hand in the form of self-care baskets.
Rachel Lalonde was moved to start the project after hearing about the tragic death of New Westminster mother Florence Leung. Her body was found in the water off Bowen Island last month after an extensive search, leaving behind her husband and infant son.
"I was really affected by it… and I wanted to do something positive and preventative, and point women to resources so they can get help earlier."
Lalonde said she first experienced PPD while she was pregnant with her first son, who is now 20 months old, but didn't recognize it at the time. All she knew was that her reality didn't match the barrage of information that paints new moms as perpetually full of joy.
When her baby was born, Lalonde said she fell through the cracks when it came to PPD screening.
"I thought I had an idea what depression was but this wasn't it," she said. "I had insomnia, irritability, I felt deeply inadequate and highly anxious."
But with a flood of visitors expecting to see a happy new mom, Lalonde never felt she could share what she was going through.
The symptoms improved with her second pregnancy but when her new son was born a few months ago, the PPD returned in full force. This time, after a month of suffering, Lalonde knew she needed help.
"Many women are afraid to voice their experiences. They fear being seen as a bad mother, an unfit mother," Lalonde said. "Our society values being self-sufficient. Being vulnerable isn't seen as a strength so we tend to hide our difficulties. It's supposed to be 'easy,' right?"
The Pacific Post Partum Support Society estimates one in six women experiences PPD during pregnancy or after the birth or adoption of a child. The organization serves about 3,500 mothers and families each year through a telephone support line and group meetings.
Lalonde reached out to the society and, in talking with other moms experiencing the same issues, discovered a big factor in healing is proper self-care, something moms of new babies too often put at the bottom of the list.
That's why she was inspired to start a project she's calling First Forty Days: Self-care baskets to promote postpartum health, and is raising money through a Gofundme page to assemble items such as healthy snacks, tea, a journal, lotion and easy-to-read information on PPD and other resources like postpartum doulas and practical support for grocery shopping or house cleaning. She also hopes to include encouraging notes from other mothers to help combat feelings of isolation.
The First Forty Days is a nod to cultures around the world that emphasize this initial post-birth period as a time of recovery and healing for the mother.
"Other cultures seem to understand it's a time of vulnerability — physically, psychologically, emotionally," Lalonde said. There's a social seclusion as well, in which the mother is herself mothered along with practical help with cooking, chores and care for older children.
"We don't have a structure that supports that," Lalonde said. "Geographically, families often live far apart, and we don't know our neighbours."
She's hoping the baskets will be a step toward building a culture here that acknowledges postpartum difficulties, widens the support net, encourages mothers to slow down and helps them recognize the signs of PPD and get help when needed.
Said Lalonde: "You can't pour from an empty cup."
• For more information or to donate to the First Forty Days effort, visit www.gofundme.com. Visit www.postpartum.org or call 604-255-7999 for information and help with PPD.
[email protected]
@spayneTC
