Call it a case of ridiculous red tape: The owner of Joe's Atlantic Grill in Port Moody needs the city's endorsement for a change to his liquor licence to allow for audience participation in live entertainment.
"I'm allowed to have music and bands but you can't clap or sing along," said Peter MacDonald, who owns Joe's.
And when he hosts his neighbour, Share Family and Community Services, for its annual volunteer recognition events, city council members are allowed to present the awards - but they are not allowed to say anything. Same goes for his seniors' sing-alongs, which MacDonald offers to entice seniors to come out in the afternoons.
"I have a band called the Scoundrels, they sing all the old-time songs," he said. "I've done it three times now and I've actually had to tell [patrons] to stop singing."
And don't even think about becoming an honorary Newfoundlander; kissing the cod - a must if one aims to be named a Newfie - is now verboten.
"This is exactly what we're trying to get into this city, a business that provides entertainment," said Coun. Gerry Nuttall, who chairs Moody's arts and culture committee. "I'm surprised you even have to be here tonight."
The slightly baffled council supported MacDonald's request, which will now be handled by the province's liquor control and licensing arm.
