Call it "an arrangement," a form of networking, or a mutually beneficial relationship. "Sugar dating" has opened up a grey area between dating and sex work that can be very tempting for young people in tight financial situations, especially amidst those studying abroad or without any additional income.
"Sugar dating" or "sugaring" involves "sugar babies" (usually younger people or those still developing their careers) who date "sugar daddies" or "sugar mommas" (often older wealthier people) in exchange for allowances, extravagant gifts, and/or travel. A student shared his story with CTV News in 2021, saying that he paid for his tuition and books at the University of Calgary from the money he received from "sugar" relationships.
The average student debt is $28,000 for a bachelor’s degree and $15,300 for college grads, according to Macleans. The student found his "sugar daddies" at the time through Seeking, a luxury dating platform formerly known as "Seeking Arrangements," one of the largest sugar dating platforms before their rebrand. In 2021, the website boasted more than 22 million users worldwide and pointed out that they had seen a 21 per cent increase in Canadian members joining the website a year after the pandemic had begun.
Today it boasts of more than 40 million users worldwide.
Example in Pitt Meadows
A Pitt Meadows woman reported to the Better Business Bureau (BBB) Scam Tracker about an interaction she had with a scammer who wanted to be her "sugar momma" in April 2022. She received a message on Instagram from an older woman who claimed to be living in Vermont, U.S., and was looking for a sugar baby. She wanted someone to talk to because she "felt lonely after her divorce." Then, the scammer explained that they would provide a $500 weekly allowance in exchange for regular phone calls. The post-secondary student provided her personal email and phone number after she was promised that a third-party accountant would transfer $500 into her bank account as a deposit. But she got cold feet when the scammer started trying to persuade her to donate a portion of her earned money to an orphanage of their choosing. She cut off communication with the supposed Vermont woman and hasn’t heard back since. "BBB Scam Tracker has received reports of similar situations across North America, with the check or bank transfer being fake, and the orphanage or charity they suggest the 'sugar baby' support being operated by the same scammer, or an associate using a different name," explained Aaron Guillen, spokesperson for BBB Serving Mainland BC. Approach these arrangements with the same, if not more caution than real life dating. Go in knowing exactly what you’re looking for in a match.
Do you want a cash allowance? If so, how much do you have in mind? Is it certain bills you want covered? Are you looking for gifts to support a new business venture or hobby (paying for acting classes or to pay for your new website)? On the other side of the coin, are you looking to have a permanent plus one? Someone to talk to at the end of the evening? Companionship? "Having a clear idea of what you want from this relationship is important," continued Guillen.
"Although these situations can be supportive for both parties, ensuring transparency and clarity early on will help protect both parties." If you are a victim of a romance scam, or narrowly avoided one, report it to the BBB Scam Tracker. Here are six tips to apply when entering the world of "sugar dating:" Don’t feel pressured
Authentic ‘sugar daddies’ or ‘sugar mommas’ will not make you do anything without consent. From financial transactions to intimate acts, you should feel in control. Set physical boundaries for what you’re open to in this kind of relationship and let them know your preferred method of payment or exchange. Don’t depend on sugar dating as your only form of income
There's never any guarantee of stability when it comes to sugar dating. If you plan to meet in person, bring up the subject of what you’re seeking beforehand, whether that be an allowance or something else. Some profiles will state they ‘don’t want anything transactional’, which is a signal that they don’t want to pay to access a date. There are instances of users leveraging such sites with no intention of participating in a ‘sugar’ relationship. Keep dating profiles separate from social media
Any photo from a social media account can be easy to trace. Some internet sleuthing is a quick way for someone to uncover details about your life, your friends, and family. Keeping your dating or ‘sugar’ profiles different will help protect some of your anonymity until you feel comfortable. Similarly, don’t share your full name. Try using only your first name or a pseudonym at first. Meet in a public place
Similar to online dating, avoid meeting a potential new ‘sugar’ partner in their car, in a parking lot, or anywhere you cannot leave safely and quickly without others watching you. Always choose a public place where you feel comfortable. Don’t hesitate to leave a situation where you feel uncomfortable. Don’t give out your home address or have someone pick you up from there. Always share your location with a friend when meeting a new person for the first time. Vet profiles to avoid wasting your time
As with anyone you meet online, be sure that they are who they say they are. Ask questions about the details given in their profile, and ensure they aren’t posing as something they are not. Do not be fooled by lavish lifestyle imagery, it’s unlikely that a potential ‘sugar daddy’ or ‘sugar momma’ would be overtly flaunting a flashy lifestyle, they also don’t want to be taken advantage of. If you’re unsure, share the profile with someone you trust. A second opinion never hurts. Arrange your own transportation to and from the date
Whether it’s taking public transportation, calling a friend for a pickup, or ordering from a ride-sharing app, have a plan to get home safe and sound, without letting your date know where you live. It’s in your own safety to avoid accepting a ride or walking back home with your date. For more tips on how to protect your heart and your wallet, you can visit the BBB's website.
