Three weeks before Ethan Denum died from non-Hodgkins lymphoma in January 2017, he asked his mom Evette to drive him to the Coquitlam Aquatic Centre so he could watch his friends play water polo. It was his last outing from the family home.
That’s how much he loved the sport.
Denum’s passion for water polo continues Feb. 4 when the Coquitlam Lions hosts its sixth Ethan Denum tournament for its youngest players.
The jamboree-style competition is a chance for U11 and U13 players still getting their feet wet in water polo to dive right into the sport and solidify friendships forming on the pool deck.
It’s a fitting legacy for her son, who was 19 years-old when he died, said Evette Denum.
Because as much as Ethan enjoyed the competition of water polo, he cherished its social aspects even more.
“Everywhere he went, he just made friends,” said Evette of Ethan, who was also the only boy on the cheer team at this high school, Dr. Charles Best Secondary.
“He loved clowning around with the kids and the camaraderie.”
Like many formative water polo players, Ethan migrated to the sport from his involvement in a swim club. But, said Evette, he found competitive swimming boring and he wasn’t particularly fast.
Ethan did enjoy the water, though, and the team environment of water polo provided by the Lions seemed a natural fit for his outgoing nature. Playing goalie meant his lack of speed in the pool wasn’t a hindrance.
Evette said Ethan loved guarding the net. He was good at it, too.
So much so, Ethan was invited to join a second competitive team in the Fraser Valley and, when he was 15, he trained with the national men's U16 team in Calgary.
But at the pool in Calgary, Ethan had trouble breathing and he came home disappointed by his experience. At first, doctors thought his respiratory problem might have had something to do with the Alberta city’s higher altitude.
Looking back on it, though, Evette said it was likely the cancer taking root in her son’s body.
As Ethan got sicker and less able to play competitive water polo, he stayed involved as a referee and coach.
The pool was his happy place, said Evette. “He found his social niche.”
Just a few weeks after Ethan died, the Lions honoured his memory with a tournament. There was a moment of silence before the first game, the club put together a video and his other team in the Fraser Valley posted a dedication on its website.
Still stricken with grief, Evette said the tribute was healing.
“We were very touched,” she said. “We knew he was popular but to have that kind of feedback immediately was absolutely amazing.”
But for the two years of COVID-19 public health restrictions that necessitated its cancellation, the Ethan Denum tournament continues.
Evette said the family tries to participate whenever it can, dropping the first ball, handing out medals. But more importantly it’s the smiles on the kids' faces as they swim strides in the sport and form bonds on the pool deck that most fill her heart with reminders of her son and his happiest times at the pool.
“Hopefully they get the love of water polo the way he loved it.”
