Port Moody’s version of "Weird Al" Yankovic is back.
Just days after posting his acclaimed parody of Coquitlam’s ongoing pickleball problems and another about the high cost of housing in the Tri-Cities, Adam Faber has composed a musical ode to the giant barge that has been famously stranded on Vancouver’s Second Beach since a violent wind and rain storm last November.
Set to the melody of Bonnie Tyler’s 1983 hit Total Eclipse of the Heart, Faber’s Total Removal of Barge chronicles the colourful history of the vessel that’s defied several attempts to remove since it was beached and has become somewhat of an attraction for locals and tourists seeking a unique waterfront selfie.
"Run aground, the 15th of November was a little bit scary, a storm pushed me on my side," Faber sings in his ditty.
"Every now and then I get a little bit bashful with these people coming ‘round."
In December, the Vancouver Parks Board acknowledged the uniquely unintended art attraction by erecting a sign renaming Second Beach “Barge Chilling Park.”
The moniker is a play on a Vancouver park that was unofficially renamed “Dude Chilling Park” by a local artist because of a statue of a reclining figure that was installed there in 1991.
After a sign created by the artist rechristening the park was taken down by city workers, a petition started by local residents convinced the city to accept the name and put up a permanent sign.
After the Barge Chilling Park sign at Second Beach was defaced several times, Parks Board staff recently decided to take it down for good.
“I can’t deliver anything I’m stuck in this park,” sings Faber, who goes by the Twitter handle @accordiyonder. “You named it after me, I feel like Noah’s Ark.”
In the months the barge has been aground, it’s started its own Twitter account, @EnglishBayBarge and it has even been immortalized in Christmas ornaments and its own limited edition Lego release.
But alas, the barge’s days are numbered after its owners announced earlier this week the craft would be cut into pieces and removed once and for all by crane sometime in the next month or so.
Of course, the barge’s fate did not escape Faber’s ode.
“I thought that I could spend forever chillin’ with you, but now they’re cutting me into parts,” he sings. “It’s what they gotta do for total removal of barge.”
- with files from Vancouver Is Awesome