The Editor,
Re. "Is cross-border shopping un-Canadian or understandable?" (Face to Face, The Tri-City News, Sept. 27).
I'm opening a store. It's for cross-border shoppers.
To make you all feel at ease, here's what I'm going to do:
I'm locating it a good 20 miles or more from where you live.
You'll have to wait in your car for a minimum of an hour and up to three hours to get in.
As you pull up to seek permission to enter my store, I'll have some very disgruntled people ask you some very personal questions (and, really, they are pretty innocuous questions but can be tricky so be careful). Get one wrong, you can't come back for years.
If I decide you can't come in, you'll have no appeal.
I'll give you what you think is a good deal on select merchandise.
By not collecting or remitting taxes to support your vast variety of current, future or as yet unimagined needs, I'll keep my massive profits.
I'll make it fun for you. It will be in a mall that you think is different from any other but really is just like thousands elsewhere. If you feel like it's too much like home or a cheap version, just check your GPS. If no GPS, just head to the food court. Or the nearest McDonalds. They'll be way different.
After checking your GPS, always tell yourself about how great the selection is at my store compared to others. That will make it easier to justify spending your money (especially on bed sheets) here versus stores that do support your medicare and other worthy programs. Remember: SELECTION. It's a soothing word, and so satisfying.
Finally, my store name is the United States of Canadian Shoppers. Opening soon!
Peter Bennett, Coquitlam
