You have to wonder if the outgoing Conservative government was really on to something with that whole muzzling of scientists thing.
How else to explain the fact that, a week after the party was swept out of power, news came down from World Health Organization researchers that processed meats such as deli meats, sausages and bacon definitely can cause colorectal cancer? On top of that, the scientists also said that all red meats — beef, pork, lamb, Chuck Norris — probably cause cancer as well.
These scientific facts differed from the commonly held, evidence-based belief amongst the general population that anyone who touches our bacon is at a greater risk of getting stabbed in the neck with a fork.
Now I’m starting to understand why some politicians choose to ignore facts and instead go with their “gut.” What good are facts when they don’t align with your lifestyle choices? My gut tells me that it loves bacon.
What a mess. This never would have happened if Stephen Harper were still PM.
Still, I don’t know if anyone is surprised deli meats and sausages could be bad for your health. Nobody starts a health kick by unwrapping a coil of farmer’s sausage.
And deep down, we all knew bacon was bad for you. It’s kind of a giveaway when you cook a food and then after you’re done, you need to pour the leftover juice into a tin can and freeze it instead of pouring it down the drain because it will harden in the sewer pipes and clog them shut.
But steak? Really? Filet mignon?
Let’s take a closer look at the cow. From what I can recall from 10th grade biology, Darwin’s theory of evolution champions survival of the fittest. No one, however, would ever accuse a cow of being fit. Big, slow, loud clanging bell: For peckish predators, a cow is a mobile Arby’s. So how did they survive? They were so delicious that humans decided to protect them.
Alas, the scientists have spoken, and meat may be our undoing. For me, the old saying “pick your poison” comes to mind. In terms of things that could kill me, I would rather go with beef than, say, crack. No one is breaking into cars to buy a hit of chateaubriand.
I guess it’s all relative. The Globe and Mail’s health columnist, André Picard, made the bold journalistic decision to actually read the study he was reporting on, and he unearthed this bit of data that puts the discovery into perspective: 66 out of every 1,000 people who eat a lot of red meat or processed meat will develop colorectal cancer in their lifetime; but 56 out of every 1,000 who eat very little meat will also develop colorectal cancer.
He also added this juicy nugget: “Since 1971, the International Agency for Research on Cancer has reviewed 982 products, substances and exposures. They found every one of them — from plutonium to sunshine, from cellphones to sawdust — posed a theoretical risk of cancer (with one exception: yoga pants).”
The Globe also printed a guest column from the executive director of Colon Cancer Canada who said the most important thing by far out of all of this is reminding people to get early screening.
So, you’re telling me that eating a ribeye will slightly increase the risk of colorectal cancer but all I have to do to keep myself safe is let a doctor have a look back there every once in a while? I’ll take that deal.
The recommended age to start getting colonoscopies is 50. I’ll be there, doc. You hold the tube, I’ll bring the bacon.
