Lately, some in Squamish, which I cover, have been talking about how children are being raised to be “snowflakes” and should be tougher.
The concern is that we are babying children so much they will become sensitive adults who, like snowflakes, are easily blown away by life’s challenges.
In some ways, I agree. Children should be playing outside more and encouraged to be more independent.
But where I disagree with “toughening up” children is when it comes to bullying.
Like many, I was bullied as a kid. My elementary school self had limbs like a deer, wore wire-rimmed glasses and liked to talk politics (in Grade 5). Also, my family didn’t have a lot of money.
My classmates chanted that I had cooties (whatever those are), pushed me over on the way home and didn’t invite me to their birthday parties. They whispered when I walked by and laughed when I burst into tears.
While certainly not the worst stories one hears of bullying, those encounters traumatizing. As an adult, I revert to my timid Grade 5 self far more often than I would like to admit.
There’s this voice that therapy has quieted but that still echoes in my head when I attend certain events or meet certain people who flout their power or wealth.
The voice whispers that I don’t belong, that there’s something innately wrong with me. And I am not alone.
Talk to anyone who was bullied due to their socioeconomic status, the colour of their skin, their appearance, sexual orientation or quirky mannerisms and he or she will soon tell you how spirit-crushing bullying is. Kids don’t have the mental bandwidth to recognize or process the insecurity and immaturity of those who bully.
Youth who are bullied are more likely to abuse alcohol or drugs later in life, engage in early sexual activity, have criminal convictions or struggle with anxiety and depression, according to stopbullying.gov.
In 12 out of 15 school shootings in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied, according to a Columbia University study.
If your child is being bullied, don’t minimize it. Teachers and school administrators are much more aware of these things now, so reach out and talk to them. Make sure the bullying stops. And have your child see a therapist as soon as possible.
Most importantly, let your child know they aren’t alone. Some of the most beautifully quirky and unique individuals I have had the honour of knowing were bullied as kids. Come to think of it, they are already like snowflakes — each one is special. They are now filmmakers, politicians, teachers and comedians. They make the world better and so will the kids being bullied today.
For more on combating bullying go to erasebullying.ca.
Jennifer Thuncher is a reporter at The Squamish Chief, a Glacier Media sister paper to The Tri-City News.
@thuncher
