Adrian Dix: He kicks puppies.
The attack ads by BC Liberal supporters haven't quite dipped that deep into the muck, but give them time.
Slinging mud is a time-honoured political strategy that, until relatively recently, Canadians naively thought was the domain of our southern neighbours - that is, until our federal parties saw that nasty works and unleashed a TV ad arsenal of minor keys, unflattering photos and selective quotations.
And there are no innocents. Provincial parties from across the country and the political spectrum readily employ such tactics, creating villains where there are really only opponents, wars where there should be peaceful differences of ideology.
For instance, for months now, in radio ads aired across B.C., supporters of the embattled Christy Clark crew have been shining a light on the NDP leader's nefarious past in the Glen Clark government, the faked memo, etc. Another radio spot features voice actors - times really are tough in B.C.'s film industry - playing wide-eyed rubes marvelling that Dix once got caught riding SkyTrain without a ticket.
The horror, the horror.
The horror is that anyone would buy this rubbish. If a citizen in the province of British Columbia decided he wouldn't vote NDP because of the latter ad - as opposed to genuine differences about policy or concerns about Dix and company's ability to lead B.C. and manage its economy - he deserves to lose the right to vote due to criminal stupidity.
Still, the political potshots got me thinking that anyone's life contains potential fodder for attack ads.
For example
Richard Dal Monte: What's up with that voice? He sounds like a villain with a cold. Can we trust someone who sounds like he should be strapping James Bond to a laser-saw?
Richard Dal Monte: Look at his hair. It's long and messy. Who would vote for someone who apparently doesn't even own a brush - or a razor?
Richard Dal Monte: His dog Harry is named after a wizard. Does Richard Dal Monte believe in magic and why does he hate Muggles? Your children are Muggles. People wonder if Richard Dal Monte is secretly a Slytherin.
Richard Dal Monte: For 12 years, he's edited a newspaper, changing things people have written. What makes him think he's always right?
Richard Dal Monte: He drives a German car. Hmm, what else is Germany historically known for?
Richard Dal Monte: He rides a bike and wears cycling clothing. You know who else wears skin-tight gear? Circus performers. Enough said.
Richard Dal Monte: He could do to lose a few pounds.
Richard Dal Monte: He doesn't smile much. What's he hiding in his mouth? I bet it's something to do with that voice.
Richard Dal Monte: He procrastinates. What's he waiting for? Christmas?
Richard Dal Monte: He can't find an ending to this column. Do we really want a leader who can't finish what he starts?
Richard Dal Monte: He thinks this column is funny. This column isn't funny. Don't let Richard Dal Monte win.
Richard Dal Monte is editor of The Tri-City News.
