FACE TO FACE: What politicians should face off in the ring (for charity, of course)?
Justin Trudeau and Sen. Patrick Brazeau set the precedent last year when they boxed for three rounds to raise $230, 000 for cancer research.
So why haven't we thought of this before? We're always looking for new sources of revenue, and perhaps we could settle some political differences at the same time.
In this spirit, I humbly suggest B.C.'s first evening of charity boxing, brought to BC Place by co-promoters the Fraser Institute and the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives: Boxapalooza 2013 - An Evening of Partisan Pugilism.
The undercard begins with three rounds of boxing featuring, in the red corner, 'Gentleman' Jim Sinclair, the champion of the working man; and, in the teflon corner, Gordon 'Trickle Down' Campbell, the scourge of the public sector.
Mr. Sinclair will be boxing for a raise in the minimum wage and Mr. Campbell for corporate tax cuts. Gentleman Jim, famous for peppering left jabs, is a slight favourite in this one but don't count out Campbell. Though often cut in the later rounds, he always gets up and has a good cut man, Kevin Falcon, in his corner.
Second on the card is five rounds of boxing, featuring Bill 'Mr. Smooth' Good of CKNW versus Vancouver Mayor Gregor 'Moonbeam' Roberston.
Good will block anything Gregor throws out but may be frustrated by Mayor Moonbeam's constant cycling to the left.
Good will, as usual, have his entire radio station in his corner along with NPA Coun. George Affleck, whom they will all interview between rounds.
And then, the main event of Boxapalooza 2013, 12 years of boxing, featuring:
The challenger: That diminutive dominatrix of dogma, that persuasive pit bull of parliament, Joy 'Death by a Thousand Cuts' McPhail!
And the champion: From Port Moody, er, Point Grey, er, Kelowna, and straight from a two-round TKO over Alison Redford, the comeback kid, the queen of charisma, that iron fist in a velvet glove, Christy 'Remember the '90s' Clark!
McPhail will land flurries of punches in this bout but if the champ finds out she has a teacher in the family, she may be mercilessly pummelled.
This fall, leave your politics at the gate and for charitable purposes only, I agree with my colleague:
Let's get rrrrrrready to rrrrrrrumbllllle!
Face to Face columnist Jim Nelson is a retired Tri-City teacher and principal who lives in Port Moody. He has contributed a number of columns on education-related issues to The Tri-City News.
